1 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,053 What? 2 00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:11,595 No, I didn't steal this shit. 3 00:00:11,595 --> 00:00:13,511 If you bothered to watch last week's episode, 4 00:00:13,511 --> 00:00:14,970 you'd know that. 5 00:00:16,761 --> 00:00:18,179 Police! 6 00:00:18,179 --> 00:00:20,220 Police! 7 00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:21,803 Jesus! 8 00:00:21,803 --> 00:00:23,387 - What the fuck, asshole? - Shit! 9 00:00:23,387 --> 00:00:25,137 What the fuck-- 10 00:00:26,970 --> 00:00:28,053 Mikey? 11 00:00:28,053 --> 00:00:29,553 Frank. 12 00:00:29,553 --> 00:00:30,845 I deserve to feel special. 13 00:00:32,970 --> 00:00:34,636 Don't look at me like that. 14 00:00:34,636 --> 00:00:37,761 I've got a system. It's all going back. 15 00:00:37,761 --> 00:00:39,470 You're a disgrace, Gallagher. 16 00:00:39,470 --> 00:00:41,678 I never, ever want to see your face again, 17 00:00:41,678 --> 00:00:44,761 not on my campus and not ever in my army. 18 00:00:44,761 --> 00:00:45,636 We clear, son? 19 00:00:45,636 --> 00:00:46,928 Crystal, sir. 20 00:00:49,387 --> 00:00:51,387 Boy or girl? 21 00:00:51,387 --> 00:00:53,470 - Boy. - Tami? 22 00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:56,720 We don't know yet. She's still in surgery. 23 00:01:11,678 --> 00:01:14,928 ♪ Think of all the luck you got ♪ 24 00:01:14,928 --> 00:01:18,262 ♪ Know that it's not for naught ♪ 25 00:01:18,262 --> 00:01:21,304 ♪ You were beaming once before ♪ 26 00:01:21,304 --> 00:01:25,595 ♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪ 27 00:01:25,595 --> 00:01:29,095 ♪ What is this downside ♪ 28 00:01:29,095 --> 00:01:32,345 ♪ That you speak of? ♪ 29 00:01:32,345 --> 00:01:34,345 ♪ What is this feeling ♪ 30 00:01:34,345 --> 00:01:38,887 ♪ You're so sure of? ♪ 31 00:01:45,970 --> 00:01:49,470 ♪ Round up the friends you got ♪ 32 00:01:49,470 --> 00:01:52,553 ♪ Know that they're not for naught ♪ 33 00:01:52,553 --> 00:01:55,595 ♪ You were willing once before ♪ 34 00:01:55,595 --> 00:02:00,137 ♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪ 35 00:02:00,137 --> 00:02:03,429 ♪ What is this downside ♪ 36 00:02:03,429 --> 00:02:06,761 ♪ That you speak of? ♪ 37 00:02:06,761 --> 00:02:08,720 ♪ What is this feeling ♪ 38 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:12,595 ♪ You're so sure of? ♪ 39 00:02:21,304 --> 00:02:23,053 Hey, any of those glazed doughnut holes 40 00:02:23,053 --> 00:02:24,845 left down in the break room? 41 00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:26,095 Mm-hmm. 42 00:02:43,262 --> 00:02:46,887 ♪ Fell asleep last night... ♪ 43 00:02:46,887 --> 00:02:51,511 Mm. 44 00:02:51,511 --> 00:02:53,095 Hey. 45 00:02:53,095 --> 00:02:57,012 ♪ ...becomes a better man ♪ 46 00:02:57,012 --> 00:02:59,845 ♪ I gotta, gotta, gotta get away ♪ 47 00:02:59,845 --> 00:03:04,053 ♪ I gotta, gotta go before I sell my soul ♪ 48 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:08,887 ♪ Oh ♪ 49 00:03:16,470 --> 00:03:19,553 Ugh! Get the fuck off me! 50 00:03:21,053 --> 00:03:22,803 What's your problem? 51 00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:23,720 I'm sick of the smell of goddamn mayonnaise. 52 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,012 It's like getting screwed 53 00:03:25,012 --> 00:03:26,595 by a bowl of potato salad every morning. 54 00:03:26,595 --> 00:03:28,636 It's the only lube we have in this shithole. 55 00:03:28,636 --> 00:03:30,845 Well, it makes me wanna gag every time you come near me. 56 00:03:30,845 --> 00:03:32,720 Oh, yeah, 'cause you taking a shit every night at 8:15 57 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:34,887 is a real fuckin' bed of roses. 58 00:03:34,887 --> 00:03:36,553 At least my shit gets flushed, 59 00:03:36,553 --> 00:03:38,387 unlike your coleslaw-smellin' dick. 60 00:03:38,387 --> 00:03:40,803 Can't be 8:30, can it? Or seven o'clock? 61 00:03:40,803 --> 00:03:42,761 No, Mickey has to shit every night 62 00:03:42,761 --> 00:03:43,970 at the exact same time. 63 00:03:43,970 --> 00:03:45,179 That's annoying. 64 00:03:45,179 --> 00:03:46,429 - Shut up! - Is it? 65 00:03:46,429 --> 00:03:48,304 Is it as annoying as the way you lick your finger 66 00:03:48,304 --> 00:03:50,095 every single time you turn the page 67 00:03:50,095 --> 00:03:51,595 of whatever faggety-ass book you're reading? 68 00:03:51,595 --> 00:03:53,095 - Okay. - "My name's Ian. 69 00:03:53,095 --> 00:03:55,095 I can't turn the page like a normal human being. 70 00:03:55,095 --> 00:03:57,095 I have to put my whole goddamn paw in my mouth." 71 00:03:57,095 --> 00:03:59,012 You know what? If you actually knew how to read, 72 00:03:59,012 --> 00:04:01,262 maybe you'd understand, not, "Look at these fucking 73 00:04:01,262 --> 00:04:03,761 squiggle-dings all over this piece of paper!" 74 00:04:03,761 --> 00:04:05,429 Every morning, the same shit! 75 00:04:05,429 --> 00:04:07,095 You're like old women! 76 00:04:07,095 --> 00:04:09,095 I came to prison to get away from my parents. 77 00:04:09,095 --> 00:04:11,179 Eat my cornhole, cocks! 78 00:04:11,179 --> 00:04:13,012 Not if it smells like mayonnaise. 79 00:04:13,012 --> 00:04:15,470 Exactly! 80 00:04:15,470 --> 00:04:17,803 Let's go! Line it up! 81 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,012 Hey. 82 00:04:24,012 --> 00:04:25,970 I wanna see the warden about getting a new roommate. 83 00:04:25,970 --> 00:04:27,595 What is this, fuckin' summer camp? 84 00:04:27,595 --> 00:04:29,595 Get your ass to breakfast. 85 00:04:44,970 --> 00:04:47,345 ♪ You lookin' good ♪ 86 00:04:49,095 --> 00:04:50,803 ♪ You feelin' clean ♪ 87 00:04:53,553 --> 00:04:56,304 ♪ Keep it up now, baby ♪ 88 00:04:56,304 --> 00:04:59,053 ♪ You really make me see ♪ 89 00:05:01,387 --> 00:05:04,470 ♪ You sure wiggle ♪ 90 00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:05,845 Hey, we made it, huh? 91 00:05:05,845 --> 00:05:09,678 - ♪ All night long ♪ - We're almost home. 92 00:05:09,678 --> 00:05:13,304 ♪ But then suddenly, yeah ♪ 93 00:05:13,304 --> 00:05:15,845 ♪ Somethin' just goes wrong ♪ 94 00:05:17,845 --> 00:05:19,220 No problem. 95 00:05:21,095 --> 00:05:24,262 ♪ Yeah, you got style ♪ 96 00:05:31,345 --> 00:05:33,220 Asses up if you want coffee! 97 00:05:40,095 --> 00:05:42,220 You start bonin' dudes while I was away at school? 98 00:05:42,220 --> 00:05:45,511 Occasionally, if the mood strikes. 99 00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:46,845 I was talkin' to Frank. 100 00:05:46,845 --> 00:05:49,220 Can't two grown men share a bed together 101 00:05:49,220 --> 00:05:50,720 without it being sexual? 102 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,304 No. 103 00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:56,887 Go for Carl. 104 00:05:56,887 --> 00:05:58,220 Yeah, yeah, it's still available. 105 00:05:58,220 --> 00:06:00,179 All right. I'll send you the address. 106 00:06:03,429 --> 00:06:05,220 Stinky, dirty, wet! 107 00:06:05,220 --> 00:06:07,636 Wash your own shit! 108 00:06:07,636 --> 00:06:09,220 You both owe me rent money. 109 00:06:09,220 --> 00:06:10,636 Oh, come on. 110 00:06:10,636 --> 00:06:11,887 Thirty-seven bucks a night, 111 00:06:11,887 --> 00:06:13,720 plus five if you'll be showering. 112 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,095 - What about Carl? - I'm selling my military gear 113 00:06:16,095 --> 00:06:17,887 - to get some cash. - Electricity, gas, 114 00:06:17,887 --> 00:06:19,803 and water for the month is 48 bucks. 115 00:06:19,803 --> 00:06:21,553 Let me know if you'll be eating here. 116 00:06:21,553 --> 00:06:24,012 I have various meal plans available. 117 00:06:24,012 --> 00:06:26,304 You don't need to pay rent, Frank. 118 00:06:26,304 --> 00:06:28,470 You're the patriarch of this family. 119 00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:30,262 He is? 120 00:06:30,262 --> 00:06:32,095 I'm keeping the coffee warm for ten minutes. 121 00:06:32,095 --> 00:06:33,678 Then I'm dumping it. 122 00:06:33,678 --> 00:06:35,179 Little Red Riding Twat 123 00:06:35,179 --> 00:06:38,345 needs to understand who's boss around here. 124 00:06:38,345 --> 00:06:39,928 Me? 125 00:06:39,928 --> 00:06:42,845 Yes, you. 126 00:06:54,053 --> 00:06:56,429 What's goin' on? 127 00:06:56,429 --> 00:06:58,720 Tryin' to figure out who I am, 128 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:02,053 what's my identity-- Dr. King, Dr. Dre? 129 00:07:02,053 --> 00:07:03,636 Maybe you should set your sights lower, 130 00:07:03,636 --> 00:07:05,887 you know, like Tiga, Nelly, 131 00:07:05,887 --> 00:07:07,304 or maybe one of the Wayans brothers. 132 00:07:07,304 --> 00:07:08,803 Or Lester Holt. 133 00:07:13,845 --> 00:07:15,470 ♪ I'm a black man in a white world ♪ 134 00:07:15,470 --> 00:07:18,012 ♪ I'm a black man in a white world ♪ 135 00:07:18,012 --> 00:07:20,429 ♪ I'm a black man in a white world ♪ 136 00:07:20,429 --> 00:07:22,595 ♪ I'm a black man in a white world ♪ 137 00:07:22,595 --> 00:07:25,137 ♪ I just see the saddest life, a savage life ♪ 138 00:07:25,137 --> 00:07:27,220 ♪ Snakes and thieves, every man has his price ♪ 139 00:07:27,220 --> 00:07:29,928 ♪ It's hell below, who will or won't sell his soul ♪ 140 00:07:29,928 --> 00:07:31,970 ♪ What's my goal, go to jail or fail, hell no ♪ 141 00:07:31,970 --> 00:07:33,470 ♪ In the streets, there's a few ways out ♪ 142 00:07:33,470 --> 00:07:34,845 ♪ 'Cause face it, time is short ♪ 143 00:07:34,845 --> 00:07:36,470 ♪ Think fast while I resort ♪ 144 00:07:36,470 --> 00:07:38,636 ♪ To a life of crime and fast cash ♪ 145 00:07:38,636 --> 00:07:40,304 ♪ Naw, I'm destined to be king ♪ 146 00:07:40,304 --> 00:07:41,887 - ♪ I'm a black man ♪ - ♪ Yeah, come on, y'all ♪ 147 00:07:41,887 --> 00:07:43,345 - ♪ In a white world ♪ - ♪ Yeah... ♪ 148 00:07:43,345 --> 00:07:45,928 - You Carl? - Who's asking? 149 00:07:45,928 --> 00:07:47,803 I answered an ad on Craigslist. 150 00:07:47,803 --> 00:07:49,845 Lookin' to buy some military gear. 151 00:07:49,845 --> 00:07:51,595 - It's all right here. - Cool. 152 00:07:51,595 --> 00:07:53,470 You take 75? 153 00:07:53,470 --> 00:07:54,678 Ad said 100. 154 00:07:54,678 --> 00:07:56,678 I figured I'd try. 155 00:07:56,678 --> 00:07:58,053 - Figured I'd walk away. - Wait, no, no, no. 156 00:07:58,053 --> 00:07:59,345 Here, here. 157 00:07:59,345 --> 00:08:00,928 It's fine. Hundred bucks. 158 00:08:02,803 --> 00:08:04,761 It's all there. I promise. 159 00:08:04,761 --> 00:08:07,012 I'm starting ROTC in the fall. 160 00:08:07,012 --> 00:08:08,345 - I gotta train this summer. - Mm. 161 00:08:08,345 --> 00:08:10,179 So what got you interested in becoming an officer? 162 00:08:10,179 --> 00:08:11,636 Went down to the recruiting offices, 163 00:08:11,636 --> 00:08:12,845 played them shoot-'em-up video games? 164 00:08:12,845 --> 00:08:15,387 Something like that. 165 00:08:15,387 --> 00:08:17,429 Can I have the bag? 166 00:08:17,429 --> 00:08:18,970 What, the recruiters make you think 167 00:08:18,970 --> 00:08:20,137 you're gonna become this officer, 168 00:08:20,137 --> 00:08:22,470 big war hero, leading men into battle? 169 00:08:22,470 --> 00:08:24,262 I don't know. Maybe. I guess. 170 00:08:24,262 --> 00:08:26,137 They tell you that you could be one of the very few, 171 00:08:26,137 --> 00:08:27,470 make a difference, 172 00:08:27,470 --> 00:08:28,803 that you could do something your life, 173 00:08:28,803 --> 00:08:30,137 change your destiny? 174 00:08:30,137 --> 00:08:32,179 Hey, might even become a general one day. 175 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:35,304 My mom's gonna start worrying if I don't get home soon. 176 00:08:35,304 --> 00:08:37,220 You know that's a bunch of horseshit. 177 00:08:37,220 --> 00:08:39,387 They don't want guys like us to enlist as officers-- 178 00:08:39,387 --> 00:08:41,220 you know, guys from the South Side, 179 00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:44,220 guys who aren't very smart, kinda slow. 180 00:08:44,220 --> 00:08:46,095 They're just trying to fill their quota, 181 00:08:46,095 --> 00:08:49,137 gettin' us hooked on the thrill of the kill. 182 00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:50,845 Then they spit us out when we can't handle 183 00:08:50,845 --> 00:08:52,887 quantum physics or even read. 184 00:08:52,887 --> 00:08:53,887 - I can read. - And then they leave us 185 00:08:53,887 --> 00:08:54,887 on the side of the road 186 00:08:54,887 --> 00:08:56,595 with the taste of blood in our mouths, 187 00:08:56,595 --> 00:08:57,636 and what do we do? 188 00:08:57,636 --> 00:08:59,304 We enlist as grunts. 189 00:08:59,304 --> 00:09:00,761 And while they get all the medals 190 00:09:00,761 --> 00:09:03,220 and cushy postings up in Japan and Germany, 191 00:09:03,220 --> 00:09:05,553 where are we, poor boys from disadvantaged backgrounds 192 00:09:05,553 --> 00:09:07,220 like you and me? 193 00:09:07,220 --> 00:09:10,053 Somalia, Fallujah, that's where. 194 00:09:10,053 --> 00:09:11,720 And then when we finally get sent home, 195 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:14,387 it's in a body bag. 196 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,803 Not me. 197 00:09:15,803 --> 00:09:17,761 Not Carl Gallagher. No, thank you. 198 00:09:17,761 --> 00:09:18,761 I ain't no one's human shield. 199 00:09:18,761 --> 00:09:19,970 Can I just have my money back 200 00:09:19,970 --> 00:09:21,262 if you're not gonna sell me the shit? 201 00:09:29,095 --> 00:09:32,345 Only thing left in these Oxy bottles is dust. 202 00:09:32,345 --> 00:09:34,928 You have a toothbrush I can use, Frank? 203 00:09:34,928 --> 00:09:37,179 They're communal. Just grab one. 204 00:09:38,595 --> 00:09:40,887 The fuck is that? 205 00:09:45,179 --> 00:09:47,304 How 'bout we head over to that Russian bakery 206 00:09:47,304 --> 00:09:50,429 and snag some of those muffin samples for breakfast, huh? 207 00:09:50,429 --> 00:09:52,137 No can do, partner. 208 00:09:52,137 --> 00:09:54,636 We gotta hit the streets, do some work. 209 00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:55,720 What? Why? 210 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,678 You heard Debbie. 211 00:09:57,678 --> 00:10:00,053 - Rent money. - You're not seriously gonna do 212 00:10:00,053 --> 00:10:02,179 what she told you to do, are you? 213 00:10:02,179 --> 00:10:06,220 That girl's got a serious dose of her mother's crazy DNA. 214 00:10:06,220 --> 00:10:08,220 We come home with empty pockets, 215 00:10:08,220 --> 00:10:10,053 she may cut our tits off. 216 00:10:10,053 --> 00:10:11,179 How 'bout your kids? They got any money 217 00:10:11,179 --> 00:10:12,970 - we could bum off 'em? - Not a cent. 218 00:10:12,970 --> 00:10:14,761 I went through their backpacks last night 219 00:10:14,761 --> 00:10:16,887 while they were sleeping. 220 00:10:16,887 --> 00:10:18,803 Me too. 221 00:10:18,803 --> 00:10:21,970 Mm, I'm afraid it's an honest day's work 222 00:10:21,970 --> 00:10:23,803 for you and me, mi amigo. 223 00:10:23,803 --> 00:10:26,095 Any scams you wanna try? 224 00:10:26,095 --> 00:10:28,304 How 'bout the Distract and Grab? 225 00:10:28,304 --> 00:10:29,470 Could do the Melon Drop. 226 00:10:29,470 --> 00:10:31,137 Old-fashioned Pig in the Poke? 227 00:10:31,137 --> 00:10:34,970 I'm always down for a classic Ukrainian Peekaboo. 228 00:10:34,970 --> 00:10:36,429 All good by me. 229 00:10:36,429 --> 00:10:37,636 All right. 230 00:10:39,803 --> 00:10:41,928 It's just a crime, that's all, 231 00:10:41,928 --> 00:10:43,761 that-that Debbie doesn't give you 232 00:10:43,761 --> 00:10:46,970 the respect you deserve. 233 00:10:46,970 --> 00:10:48,553 Tell me about it. 234 00:10:48,553 --> 00:10:52,179 You know, you sacrificed so much for her. 235 00:10:52,179 --> 00:10:53,928 That, I did. 236 00:10:53,928 --> 00:10:55,761 You know, she's ungrateful... 237 00:10:55,761 --> 00:10:57,179 - Yep. - ...entitled... 238 00:10:57,179 --> 00:10:58,678 - Mm-hmm. - ...spoiled. 239 00:10:58,678 --> 00:11:00,220 You know her well. 240 00:11:00,220 --> 00:11:01,511 Too bad there's not a way 241 00:11:01,511 --> 00:11:03,220 we could take control away from her, 242 00:11:03,220 --> 00:11:05,470 you know, make you... make you the king of the house, 243 00:11:05,470 --> 00:11:07,595 you know, you set the rules here. 244 00:11:07,595 --> 00:11:10,678 Y-yeah, but how? 245 00:11:10,678 --> 00:11:14,053 I'm not sure. I mean, wishful thinking, I guess. 246 00:11:14,053 --> 00:11:15,553 I gotta go get dressed. 247 00:11:15,553 --> 00:11:17,511 I don't wanna be late for work. 248 00:11:29,053 --> 00:11:30,845 Check it out, Franny. 249 00:11:30,845 --> 00:11:33,220 I've worn these guys, like, 15 times, 250 00:11:33,220 --> 00:11:35,429 and they're in perfect... condition. 251 00:11:35,429 --> 00:11:36,803 Ha. 252 00:11:36,803 --> 00:11:39,137 Ready to be returned to the store today. 253 00:11:39,137 --> 00:11:41,720 The key is plastic sole protectors. 254 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:43,928 Your mama's a genius. 255 00:11:43,928 --> 00:11:47,345 - Can I get 125 bucks? - I'm sure you can, 256 00:11:47,345 --> 00:11:49,012 if you got a job instead of lounging around 257 00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:50,720 watching YouTube videos all summer. 258 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:52,803 From my share of the Fiona money. 259 00:11:52,803 --> 00:11:54,803 Mm...no. 260 00:11:54,803 --> 00:11:57,304 - Why not? - It's in the bank... 261 00:11:57,304 --> 00:11:59,220 getting two point four percent compound interest. 262 00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:01,553 Isn't it supposed to be all of our money? 263 00:12:01,553 --> 00:12:03,304 What do you need it for anyways? 264 00:12:03,304 --> 00:12:05,262 You get some girl in trouble or something? 265 00:12:05,262 --> 00:12:07,553 No! I'm ten. 266 00:12:07,553 --> 00:12:09,887 Besides, abortions are free anyway. 267 00:12:09,887 --> 00:12:11,429 They are? 268 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,095 The state of Illinois 269 00:12:14,095 --> 00:12:17,095 supports women having control of their bodies. 270 00:12:17,095 --> 00:12:18,470 What do you need it for, then? 271 00:12:18,470 --> 00:12:20,304 A DNA test. 272 00:12:20,304 --> 00:12:22,053 Monica already did one of those. 273 00:12:22,053 --> 00:12:23,429 Your hers... and Frank's. 274 00:12:23,429 --> 00:12:25,179 Sorry to tell you. 275 00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:28,845 An africanancestry.com DNA test. 276 00:12:28,845 --> 00:12:30,761 Wanna see where I come from. 277 00:12:30,761 --> 00:12:33,262 You come from Africa. Happy? 278 00:12:33,262 --> 00:12:35,387 Are you ready to go? 279 00:12:36,053 --> 00:12:37,595 Let's go. 280 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:43,345 Let go, baby. 281 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,511 - Hey, Debs. - Hey. 282 00:12:52,511 --> 00:12:53,636 Here's the new daddy. 283 00:12:53,636 --> 00:12:55,511 Hey, Franny. 284 00:12:55,511 --> 00:12:57,137 What's up with that glove? 285 00:12:57,137 --> 00:12:58,803 Oh, I stole a few from the hospital 286 00:12:58,803 --> 00:13:01,511 so I'm not touching him with a smoky hand later, you know? 287 00:13:01,511 --> 00:13:03,803 Or you could just quit. 288 00:13:03,803 --> 00:13:06,179 Oh, hi! 289 00:13:06,179 --> 00:13:08,887 There's my sweet little nephew. 290 00:13:08,887 --> 00:13:10,095 What'd you decide to name him? 291 00:13:10,095 --> 00:13:11,262 Freddie. 292 00:13:11,262 --> 00:13:13,470 Like Kruger? 293 00:13:13,470 --> 00:13:15,928 Uh...Fred, then. 294 00:13:15,928 --> 00:13:17,970 - Fred Flintstone? - I don't know. 295 00:13:17,970 --> 00:13:19,262 I was tired as shit when I filled out the forms 296 00:13:19,262 --> 00:13:20,636 at the hospital. 297 00:13:20,636 --> 00:13:22,137 It was the first name I thought of. 298 00:13:22,137 --> 00:13:24,803 It's my professor's name, Clyde Fred Youens. 299 00:13:24,803 --> 00:13:26,345 Hopefully Tami likes it. 300 00:13:26,345 --> 00:13:28,803 We didn't really have a chance to discuss it. 301 00:13:28,803 --> 00:13:31,262 - How's she doin'? - She's got a bad infection. 302 00:13:31,262 --> 00:13:33,012 She's all jacked up on drugs. 303 00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:34,595 It's a little touch-and-go. 304 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:38,636 I think she'll be fine. 305 00:13:38,636 --> 00:13:41,137 You know, hopefully she'll be fine. 306 00:13:41,137 --> 00:13:43,262 Yeah. I'm sorry. 307 00:13:45,137 --> 00:13:47,636 All right, well... 308 00:13:47,636 --> 00:13:49,179 ...see you later. 309 00:13:49,179 --> 00:13:51,179 - Come on, Franny. - Bye. Wait, whoa. 310 00:13:51,179 --> 00:13:52,553 You're not gonna help me out today? 311 00:13:52,553 --> 00:13:54,179 No can do. I got shit to do. 312 00:13:54,179 --> 00:13:55,845 The new couch is getting delivered today. 313 00:13:55,845 --> 00:13:57,678 Can you make sure to let the delivery guy in? 314 00:13:57,678 --> 00:14:00,262 Come on, Debs, I-I need a nap. I been up, like, 27 hours. 315 00:14:00,262 --> 00:14:02,511 Get used to it. It's your new normal. 316 00:14:02,511 --> 00:14:05,053 Fine. Yeah, no, we'll be... 317 00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:07,262 we'll be fine. 318 00:14:09,887 --> 00:14:11,928 Shit! Hey. 319 00:14:21,387 --> 00:14:23,387 Good-bye, LeBrons. 320 00:14:25,304 --> 00:14:28,220 Here you go. Take 'em. 321 00:14:28,220 --> 00:14:29,803 Thought they were gonna help me play b-ball better, 322 00:14:29,803 --> 00:14:31,553 but... 323 00:14:31,553 --> 00:14:34,345 I guess I'm, uh, 324 00:14:34,345 --> 00:14:35,387 past my prime. 325 00:14:36,553 --> 00:14:38,387 Just the middleman here, amigo. 326 00:14:38,387 --> 00:14:40,887 Got a can in this place? 327 00:14:40,887 --> 00:14:42,220 Yeah, right over there. 328 00:14:44,595 --> 00:14:46,720 I'll take a beer and a shot of Jaeger when I'm out. 329 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:47,928 Okay. 330 00:14:51,553 --> 00:14:53,470 He just leaves them here? 331 00:14:53,470 --> 00:14:56,053 Maybe he's telling you it's okay to pull a Scamazon. 332 00:14:56,053 --> 00:14:57,761 - A what? - Scamazon. 333 00:14:59,179 --> 00:15:00,845 I returned my microwave, 334 00:15:00,845 --> 00:15:04,845 except I put a brick in the box instead of the microwave. 335 00:15:04,845 --> 00:15:07,304 Soon as On Board Shipping scanned the return, 336 00:15:07,304 --> 00:15:10,345 my money was instantly credited back to me. 337 00:15:10,345 --> 00:15:11,928 They never checked inside the box. 338 00:15:11,928 --> 00:15:14,220 That's genius. 339 00:15:14,220 --> 00:15:16,636 ...ly stupid is what I was gonna say. 340 00:15:16,636 --> 00:15:18,970 - Why's that again? - Because it's wrong. 341 00:15:18,970 --> 00:15:20,220 It's wrong. 342 00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:21,761 Not if it's a big corporation. 343 00:15:21,761 --> 00:15:22,928 Yeah, he's right. 344 00:15:22,928 --> 00:15:24,429 I'd never do it to a little guy, you know, 345 00:15:24,429 --> 00:15:26,511 like some mom-and-pop place. 346 00:15:26,511 --> 00:15:29,345 But a big company, they factor that stuff in. 347 00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,720 It's stealing no matter who you do it to. 348 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:33,012 Then I guess you don't wanna know 349 00:15:33,012 --> 00:15:34,636 about another way to Scamazon. 350 00:15:34,636 --> 00:15:35,678 - No. - Yes. 351 00:15:35,678 --> 00:15:36,970 I ordered shit, 352 00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:38,636 told them that I didn't receive it, 353 00:15:38,636 --> 00:15:40,053 even though I did. 354 00:15:40,053 --> 00:15:41,761 So they sent me another. 355 00:15:41,761 --> 00:15:43,636 You mean I coulda got two pairs of sneakers? 356 00:15:43,636 --> 00:15:45,470 That's why I have two fleshlights. 357 00:15:45,470 --> 00:15:47,511 You saying flashlight or fleshlight? 358 00:15:47,511 --> 00:15:49,720 I think you know what I'm sayin'. 359 00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:51,345 That delivery guy's dead. 360 00:15:51,345 --> 00:15:53,304 Can I have another beer, please? 361 00:15:55,262 --> 00:15:56,595 What? 362 00:15:56,595 --> 00:15:58,636 He said he wants another beer. 363 00:16:00,429 --> 00:16:03,137 - Aw, jeez. - Oh, jeez. 364 00:16:03,137 --> 00:16:04,761 What's he doing with a belt around his neck 365 00:16:04,761 --> 00:16:06,803 - while he was taking a piss? - He was jacking off, Kev. 366 00:16:06,803 --> 00:16:08,470 And strangling himself at the same time. 367 00:16:08,470 --> 00:16:10,012 Why? 368 00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:12,137 - 'Cause it feels good. - Mm. 369 00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:13,887 Is that that autoerotic shit? 370 00:16:13,887 --> 00:16:14,678 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. 371 00:16:14,678 --> 00:16:17,304 Aw, dude, come on! 372 00:16:17,304 --> 00:16:18,678 I never had the courage. 373 00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:19,761 Why the fuck's he doing it in our bathroom? 374 00:16:19,761 --> 00:16:21,345 Couldn't he wait till he got home? 375 00:16:21,345 --> 00:16:23,845 - When the urge hits... - You guys are idiots. 376 00:16:23,845 --> 00:16:25,511 He didn't use a lemon. 377 00:16:25,511 --> 00:16:27,345 Even I don't know that one. 378 00:16:27,345 --> 00:16:29,429 Y-you keep a lemon in your mouth. 379 00:16:29,429 --> 00:16:31,553 That way, when you pass out and start to seize, 380 00:16:31,553 --> 00:16:34,220 you bite into the lemon, wake yourself up. 381 00:16:34,220 --> 00:16:36,553 Maybe I should try that sometime, then. 382 00:16:36,553 --> 00:16:38,678 - So what do we do now? - Call the cops. 383 00:16:38,678 --> 00:16:40,470 Or we could raid his truck first. 384 00:16:40,470 --> 00:16:41,761 - Yes. - Yeah. 385 00:16:41,761 --> 00:16:43,511 - I mean, dead is dead. - Yeah. 386 00:16:43,511 --> 00:16:44,845 What's a couple of hours? 387 00:16:44,845 --> 00:16:45,887 That's a good point. Let's go. 388 00:16:45,887 --> 00:16:46,970 Yeah. 389 00:16:46,970 --> 00:16:48,887 Hold on! Stop. 390 00:16:48,887 --> 00:16:50,678 V's right. Stop. 391 00:16:50,678 --> 00:16:52,595 This joker comes into my bathroom, 392 00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:54,553 jacks off, chokes himself, 393 00:16:54,553 --> 00:16:56,470 then was gonna have a shot and a beer, 394 00:16:56,470 --> 00:16:58,720 go back on his big truck to work 395 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:01,470 all hammered and jizzed out-- do I have this right? 396 00:17:01,470 --> 00:17:02,387 - Absolutely correct. - Yeah. 397 00:17:02,387 --> 00:17:03,553 One hundred percent. 398 00:17:05,053 --> 00:17:06,595 Fuck him. He coulda killed a kid. 399 00:17:06,595 --> 00:17:08,304 He deserves to have his truck ransacked. 400 00:17:08,304 --> 00:17:10,553 Move. I got first dibs. 401 00:17:10,553 --> 00:17:12,887 That's my girl. 402 00:17:16,511 --> 00:17:18,720 One-eighty over 120. 403 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:21,887 That's high, Ernesto. You gotta cut out the salt. 404 00:17:21,887 --> 00:17:23,761 Salt's the only edible thing in this place. 405 00:17:23,761 --> 00:17:25,220 Yeah, well... 406 00:17:25,220 --> 00:17:27,304 About halfway finished there, Chester. 407 00:17:27,304 --> 00:17:30,511 Put some Drano in the line, take me outta my misery. 408 00:17:30,511 --> 00:17:31,928 Hey, come on, now. 409 00:17:31,928 --> 00:17:33,345 You're up for a compassionate release, right? 410 00:17:33,345 --> 00:17:36,678 Compassionate release, my ass. 411 00:17:36,678 --> 00:17:39,053 The only person my release would be compassionate to 412 00:17:39,053 --> 00:17:42,304 is Mr. Johnny Dingleberry taxpayer 413 00:17:42,304 --> 00:17:43,761 who doesn't wanna foot the bill 414 00:17:43,761 --> 00:17:46,553 for my medical expenses in here. 415 00:17:46,553 --> 00:17:48,553 You get to see your family, your friends. 416 00:17:48,553 --> 00:17:50,095 They're all dead. 417 00:17:50,095 --> 00:17:53,053 Why do you think they put me in here in the first place? 418 00:17:53,053 --> 00:17:54,429 Make new friends. 419 00:17:54,429 --> 00:17:57,262 I been in here for 30 years. 420 00:17:57,262 --> 00:17:59,137 I wouldn't survive two days out there. 421 00:17:59,137 --> 00:18:00,678 I'm pissin' blood. 422 00:18:00,678 --> 00:18:02,970 My shingles are flarin' up. 423 00:18:02,970 --> 00:18:06,470 And I've got dementia... I think. 424 00:18:06,470 --> 00:18:10,220 Hey, let me ask you a question. 425 00:18:10,220 --> 00:18:12,761 How'd you and Marco survive in that cell all those years 426 00:18:12,761 --> 00:18:14,720 - without killing each other? - Oh, that's easy. 427 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,095 You ju-- 428 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:19,012 Oh, wait, now. 429 00:18:19,012 --> 00:18:20,262 Who's Marco? 430 00:18:20,262 --> 00:18:22,387 Your prison wife. 431 00:18:22,387 --> 00:18:24,678 You were together, like, 12 years. 432 00:18:24,678 --> 00:18:28,179 He's six-foot-five, Hispanic. 433 00:18:28,179 --> 00:18:30,053 He likes to eat people's faces. 434 00:18:30,053 --> 00:18:32,429 Does sound like someone I'd date. 435 00:18:32,429 --> 00:18:33,761 Okay, never mind. 436 00:18:33,761 --> 00:18:36,304 Are you talkin' about you and Mickey? 437 00:18:36,304 --> 00:18:38,970 Okay, you remember Mickey but not Marco? 438 00:18:38,970 --> 00:18:40,970 Who's Marco? 439 00:18:40,970 --> 00:18:42,970 - Forget about it. - Uh, you and your fella 440 00:18:42,970 --> 00:18:45,053 just need a little time apart, 441 00:18:45,053 --> 00:18:46,970 a temporary separation. 442 00:18:46,970 --> 00:18:49,137 A mini vacation. 443 00:18:49,137 --> 00:18:51,095 How am I supposed to do that in prison? 444 00:18:51,095 --> 00:18:52,095 I'll tell ya how. 445 00:18:54,553 --> 00:18:56,678 But you need to stab me. 446 00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:59,304 Just deep enough so they have to keep me here, 447 00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:03,470 and then you can go to solitary for a couple of weeks. 448 00:19:06,304 --> 00:19:08,137 Let's go while I'm middle-aged, huh? 449 00:19:08,137 --> 00:19:09,887 - Hurry up, Kev! - I'm trying. 450 00:19:09,887 --> 00:19:11,720 He's got, like, a million keys. 451 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:13,179 Let's go. I'm losin' my beer buzz. 452 00:19:13,179 --> 00:19:15,595 Okay, I hear all of you! 453 00:19:15,595 --> 00:19:17,429 Dude, let's go, come on. 454 00:19:17,429 --> 00:19:19,012 Got it. Jackpot! 455 00:19:19,012 --> 00:19:21,262 Stand back. 456 00:19:25,553 --> 00:19:28,345 - Oh, wow. - Holy shit. 457 00:19:28,345 --> 00:19:29,345 Gimme some! 458 00:19:29,345 --> 00:19:31,636 ♪ Oh, ohhhhh ♪ 459 00:19:31,636 --> 00:19:33,220 This is like rich people Christmas. 460 00:19:33,220 --> 00:19:35,845 God is great! 461 00:19:35,845 --> 00:19:37,678 I been praying for this moment since I was six years old. 462 00:19:37,678 --> 00:19:39,470 My good karma is finally paying off. 463 00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:41,636 Shut up, Kevin. Hoist me up. 464 00:19:43,012 --> 00:19:44,595 Yeah, that one right there. 465 00:19:44,595 --> 00:19:47,720 Lyft should be here in a sec. 466 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,137 Silver..."Ha-wan-day." Is that how you say that? 467 00:19:50,137 --> 00:19:51,262 "Hundye." 468 00:19:51,262 --> 00:19:54,345 I think it's "Hunday." 469 00:19:54,345 --> 00:19:56,345 You wanna get hit or cut? 470 00:19:56,345 --> 00:19:57,761 Let's flip a coin. 471 00:19:57,761 --> 00:20:00,429 If we had a coin, we wouldn't be out here. 472 00:20:00,429 --> 00:20:02,304 - I'll get cut. - Sounds good. 473 00:20:02,304 --> 00:20:03,553 I'll get hit. 474 00:20:03,553 --> 00:20:04,720 Okay. 475 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,429 See you around the corner. 476 00:20:09,970 --> 00:20:12,220 Mickey? 477 00:20:12,220 --> 00:20:14,470 It's Mikey. 478 00:20:14,470 --> 00:20:16,553 Who the fuck is Mickey? 479 00:20:26,511 --> 00:20:27,511 How's your day going so far? 480 00:20:27,511 --> 00:20:29,636 Oh, uh, fine. 481 00:20:29,636 --> 00:20:32,429 Um, could you put on a little classical music? 482 00:20:32,429 --> 00:20:34,179 Yeah, sure thing. 483 00:20:38,304 --> 00:20:39,970 Oh, shit! 484 00:20:39,970 --> 00:20:42,262 Ahh! Ohh! Ahh! 485 00:20:42,262 --> 00:20:44,345 Watch what you're doing, lady! 486 00:20:44,345 --> 00:20:46,429 You just hit that man! 487 00:20:46,429 --> 00:20:48,970 - Oh, God! - Are you okay? 488 00:20:48,970 --> 00:20:50,803 I think you broke my leg. 489 00:20:50,803 --> 00:20:53,220 - Oh, God! - And my face, it's bleeding! 490 00:20:53,220 --> 00:20:55,928 Um, okay, stay right there. I'll call the police 491 00:20:55,928 --> 00:20:57,304 - and an ambulance. - Oh, oh, oh! Oh, no! 492 00:20:57,304 --> 00:20:59,345 I-I-I can go to the ER myself. 493 00:20:59,345 --> 00:21:01,553 I'll probably hobble there myself too. 494 00:21:01,553 --> 00:21:03,678 No, but your leg! I'll drive you both. 495 00:21:03,678 --> 00:21:05,470 No disrespect, but... 496 00:21:05,470 --> 00:21:07,720 I'm too scared to get in your death mobile again. 497 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:10,179 Hey, what are they hitting ya for at the ER these days? 498 00:21:10,179 --> 00:21:11,761 Couple hundy. 499 00:21:11,761 --> 00:21:13,636 Oy. I'm no Rockefeller. 500 00:21:13,636 --> 00:21:16,636 I-I'm just gonna wait till my leg heals. 501 00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:22,137 Unless...you wanted to make things right. 502 00:21:25,845 --> 00:21:28,304 You fools are a couple of scam artists, aren't you? 503 00:21:28,304 --> 00:21:30,470 - What are you talking about? - No! 504 00:21:30,470 --> 00:21:31,761 Oh, wait, wait, wait. 505 00:21:31,761 --> 00:21:34,636 You old farts need to get fresh. 506 00:21:36,304 --> 00:21:37,928 Hey, wait. You're leaving... 507 00:21:37,928 --> 00:21:39,887 you're leaving a crime scene! 508 00:21:41,636 --> 00:21:43,304 Fresh? 509 00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:47,470 You wanna go again? 510 00:21:47,470 --> 00:21:49,511 I'll get cut this time. 511 00:21:49,511 --> 00:21:50,970 Fresh. 512 00:21:54,137 --> 00:21:56,053 Dude, your kid is totally white. 513 00:21:56,053 --> 00:21:59,179 Doesn't even look like he has one drop of black blood in him. 514 00:21:59,179 --> 00:22:01,720 Yeah, well, have you seen his parents? 515 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:02,845 You know, when we screwed, 516 00:22:02,845 --> 00:22:04,511 it was like two pieces of chalk fucking. 517 00:22:04,511 --> 00:22:06,304 Isn't it easier just to quit smoking? 518 00:22:06,304 --> 00:22:07,761 Plannin' on it, but... 519 00:22:07,761 --> 00:22:08,887 I thought I'd have a lot more time 520 00:22:08,887 --> 00:22:11,304 before the baby came, and, you know, besides, 521 00:22:11,304 --> 00:22:13,595 the nicotine's keeping me awake and... 522 00:22:13,595 --> 00:22:15,053 calm my nerves. 523 00:22:15,053 --> 00:22:16,928 This dad shit's scary. 524 00:22:16,928 --> 00:22:18,345 - You raised us. - Yeah, but I didn't care 525 00:22:18,345 --> 00:22:20,012 if I killed you guys. 526 00:22:20,012 --> 00:22:21,262 I wanna keep Freddie alive. 527 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:24,636 Why am I the only one in the family 528 00:22:24,636 --> 00:22:26,095 that has black skin? 529 00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:28,095 Think it has something to do with Monica's granddad, 530 00:22:28,095 --> 00:22:31,345 although we never really got a straight answer. 531 00:22:31,345 --> 00:22:33,470 Sucks not knowing my family tree. 532 00:22:33,470 --> 00:22:35,095 Who cares? 533 00:22:35,095 --> 00:22:37,179 - You're a Gallagher. - Yeah. 534 00:22:37,179 --> 00:22:39,012 In this house, I am, but out there, 535 00:22:39,012 --> 00:22:41,511 I'm a black kid that lives on the South Side of Chicago. 536 00:22:43,387 --> 00:22:45,220 I went to Urban Outfitters, 537 00:22:45,220 --> 00:22:47,887 and a security guard followed me for 20 minutes. 538 00:22:47,887 --> 00:22:49,928 Says "urban" in their title. 539 00:22:49,928 --> 00:22:52,387 Okay, he's hungry. 540 00:22:52,387 --> 00:22:55,053 Uh, this is gonna be his first feeding at home. 541 00:22:55,053 --> 00:22:56,887 You have a bottle or something I can warm up? 542 00:22:56,887 --> 00:22:59,720 Nope. Tami wants me to breastfeed him. 543 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:01,470 How? 544 00:23:03,595 --> 00:23:05,179 Oh. 545 00:23:05,179 --> 00:23:08,095 I know it's ridiculous, but... 546 00:23:08,095 --> 00:23:13,137 Tami says he needs to learn how to latch onto the boob. 547 00:23:13,137 --> 00:23:16,387 Yeah, it's also good for attachment and shit. 548 00:23:16,387 --> 00:23:18,970 Here we go. Let's show Liam how we do it, huh? 549 00:23:18,970 --> 00:23:21,595 You wanna show Uncle Liam? 550 00:23:21,595 --> 00:23:23,304 You wanna show Uncle Liam? Here we go. Here we go. 551 00:23:23,304 --> 00:23:24,803 Here we go. Shh, shh, shh. 552 00:23:24,803 --> 00:23:27,179 A little suck. A little suck. 553 00:23:27,179 --> 00:23:29,720 Little suck, little suck. 554 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:32,511 And shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 555 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:34,928 He-e-ey! 556 00:23:34,928 --> 00:23:36,803 Hey, he did it! 557 00:23:36,803 --> 00:23:39,012 He did it. He's sucking. He latched! 558 00:23:39,012 --> 00:23:41,720 You're like a walking PSA to wear a condom. 559 00:23:56,137 --> 00:23:59,012 Okay, so that's three Cap'n Bob's fish specials, 560 00:23:59,012 --> 00:24:01,970 one with tots, one with fries, and one with slaw. 561 00:24:01,970 --> 00:24:03,304 Be ready in 15. 562 00:24:04,845 --> 00:24:06,137 Yo, where do you think you're going? 563 00:24:06,137 --> 00:24:07,636 Are you deaf or something? 564 00:24:07,636 --> 00:24:10,137 I'm looking for Lori. She, uh, doing a bank run? 565 00:24:10,137 --> 00:24:12,179 You want me to cap your ass or what? 566 00:24:12,179 --> 00:24:14,553 - I'd like to see you try. - Don't think I won't. 567 00:24:14,553 --> 00:24:15,470 Carl Gallagher. 568 00:24:15,470 --> 00:24:18,220 Hey. 569 00:24:18,220 --> 00:24:21,179 Mm. Smells as good as the day I met ya. 570 00:24:21,179 --> 00:24:22,970 You're Carl. 571 00:24:22,970 --> 00:24:24,887 Yeah. Heard of me? 572 00:24:24,887 --> 00:24:27,262 This is Anne Gonzalez, assistant manager. 573 00:24:27,262 --> 00:24:30,179 Tough as nails. She keeps everybody in line. 574 00:24:33,595 --> 00:24:35,053 So... 575 00:24:35,053 --> 00:24:36,595 you ready to get back to work? 576 00:24:36,595 --> 00:24:38,845 - Yeah. - Great. 577 00:24:40,345 --> 00:24:42,511 Hey, Dirk, 578 00:24:42,511 --> 00:24:44,636 Carl's back. 579 00:24:44,636 --> 00:24:46,511 Arrivederci, buddy. 580 00:24:47,429 --> 00:24:49,053 Oh, shit. 581 00:24:49,053 --> 00:24:50,636 I'm sorry, Wheels. 582 00:24:50,636 --> 00:24:52,511 I told you this day was gonna come. 583 00:24:52,511 --> 00:24:53,720 You firing me, Lori? 584 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:54,887 You should be collecting disability. 585 00:24:54,887 --> 00:24:56,761 What you wanna work for anyway? 586 00:24:56,761 --> 00:24:59,095 - Have a purpose in life? - Overrated. 587 00:25:00,595 --> 00:25:02,429 I'll go get your uniform. 588 00:25:02,429 --> 00:25:04,845 I been savin' it. 589 00:25:04,845 --> 00:25:06,137 - Can I help you? - Picking up an order 590 00:25:06,137 --> 00:25:07,595 for Pedro. 591 00:25:09,887 --> 00:25:13,220 Uh, two shrimp tacos. That's $7.70. 592 00:25:13,220 --> 00:25:16,887 Friend said I should ask for extra tartar sauce. 593 00:25:16,887 --> 00:25:18,803 It's 26 bucks for the tartar sauce. 594 00:25:18,803 --> 00:25:20,345 And $7.70 for the tacos. 595 00:25:26,387 --> 00:25:27,636 Here you go. 596 00:25:27,636 --> 00:25:30,012 Did you get my letters? 597 00:25:30,012 --> 00:25:32,678 Yeah. Why'd you send me dick pics? 598 00:25:32,678 --> 00:25:35,887 It wasn't my dick, silly. 599 00:25:35,887 --> 00:25:37,429 Now, get your cute keister to work. 600 00:25:37,429 --> 00:25:38,887 Fryolator's calling your name. 601 00:26:01,012 --> 00:26:01,636 Okay, would you stop doing that? 602 00:26:01,636 --> 00:26:03,095 Stop fucking doing that. 603 00:26:03,095 --> 00:26:05,262 For the love of Christ, not again! 604 00:26:05,262 --> 00:26:07,720 Mind your business, Enzo! 605 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:09,262 We need to talk. 606 00:26:09,262 --> 00:26:10,928 - About what? - About the fact 607 00:26:10,928 --> 00:26:12,720 that we wanna kill each other. 608 00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:13,636 I don't know what you want from me. 609 00:26:13,636 --> 00:26:15,012 Stop bein' so annoying! 610 00:26:16,845 --> 00:26:19,220 You remember when we first got here? 611 00:26:19,220 --> 00:26:20,845 We had fun together. 612 00:26:20,845 --> 00:26:23,387 Yeah. All we did was bang. 613 00:26:23,387 --> 00:26:25,511 We laughed too. 614 00:26:25,511 --> 00:26:27,928 What happened to us? 615 00:26:27,928 --> 00:26:29,803 This place happened. 616 00:26:30,845 --> 00:26:33,262 Gets to ya. 617 00:26:33,262 --> 00:26:35,012 I don't want it to. 618 00:26:35,012 --> 00:26:38,345 Well, don't really have much of a choice. 619 00:26:40,761 --> 00:26:43,137 How 'bout, like, a... 620 00:26:43,137 --> 00:26:45,179 temporary separation? 621 00:26:45,179 --> 00:26:48,636 - How we supposed to do that? - Well, I could stab Chester. 622 00:26:48,636 --> 00:26:50,179 What you wanna stab Chester for? 623 00:26:50,179 --> 00:26:51,928 - He's gonna get released soon. - Who gives a shit? 624 00:26:51,928 --> 00:26:53,511 So if I stab him, he gets to stay and-- 625 00:26:53,511 --> 00:26:54,803 What are you talking about right now? 626 00:26:54,803 --> 00:26:57,304 And I get sent to solitary. 627 00:26:59,636 --> 00:27:02,262 Wait. A-are you dumpin' me? 628 00:27:03,761 --> 00:27:06,012 - We need a break. - Fuck you. 629 00:27:06,012 --> 00:27:07,304 We can't keep goin' on like this. 630 00:27:07,304 --> 00:27:09,636 Okay, you want a break? I'll give you a break. 631 00:27:09,636 --> 00:27:11,720 I'm gonna stab Chester, and I'm gonna go to solitary. 632 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:13,137 - What are you talking about? - You're not dumping me. 633 00:27:13,137 --> 00:27:15,304 I'm dumping you. Where's the shiv? 634 00:27:15,304 --> 00:27:16,970 Where'd you put it? 635 00:27:16,970 --> 00:27:18,845 And no, you're not stabbing him. I am. 636 00:27:18,845 --> 00:27:20,678 Free country. 637 00:27:20,678 --> 00:27:22,345 You're an asshole. 638 00:27:22,345 --> 00:27:23,803 Takes one to know one, bitch. 639 00:27:29,887 --> 00:27:31,262 God. 640 00:27:32,387 --> 00:27:34,553 Ah! 641 00:27:34,553 --> 00:27:35,928 Found it, bitch. 642 00:27:35,928 --> 00:27:38,553 Lockdown. 643 00:27:38,553 --> 00:27:40,887 Oh, you're kidding me. 644 00:27:47,429 --> 00:27:49,137 Hey. 645 00:27:49,137 --> 00:27:51,262 I'm here to return these shoes. 646 00:27:54,304 --> 00:27:56,304 - Anything wrong with them? - No. 647 00:27:56,304 --> 00:27:58,845 I've just got so many of them at home. 648 00:27:58,845 --> 00:28:01,803 - Do you have the receipt? - Sure do. 649 00:28:01,803 --> 00:28:03,553 Here you go. 650 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:07,928 Thirty days exactly. 651 00:28:07,928 --> 00:28:09,012 Mm. 652 00:28:09,012 --> 00:28:10,970 Why don't I just process this return? 653 00:28:10,970 --> 00:28:12,553 Cool. 654 00:28:12,553 --> 00:28:15,345 But first... 655 00:28:15,345 --> 00:28:16,761 What's that? 656 00:28:16,761 --> 00:28:18,345 Black light. 657 00:28:18,345 --> 00:28:20,220 Need to check if they've been worn. 658 00:28:20,220 --> 00:28:23,179 Oh, uh, well, I mean, look at them. 659 00:28:23,179 --> 00:28:25,053 They've never been worn before. 660 00:28:25,053 --> 00:28:27,220 - You see? - Yes, to my naked eye. 661 00:28:27,220 --> 00:28:31,053 But my naked eye can't see invisible bodily fluids. 662 00:28:31,053 --> 00:28:33,053 You wouldn't imagine what lengths people go to 663 00:28:33,053 --> 00:28:34,262 trying to make it look like 664 00:28:34,262 --> 00:28:36,429 they've never worn a pair of shoes. 665 00:28:36,429 --> 00:28:39,137 Everyone trying to cheat the system. 666 00:28:41,053 --> 00:28:42,511 Including you. 667 00:28:44,137 --> 00:28:46,262 - Excuse me? - Check it out. 668 00:28:46,262 --> 00:28:48,595 Toddler urine. Blood. 669 00:28:48,595 --> 00:28:50,928 Surprise, surprise. 670 00:28:50,928 --> 00:28:53,970 - A little bit of vomit. - You can tell all that? 671 00:28:53,970 --> 00:28:55,928 Sorry, I can't accept these returns. 672 00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:59,761 No, but, sir, your thingy's wrong. 673 00:28:59,761 --> 00:29:01,429 I've never worn those shoes before. 674 00:29:01,429 --> 00:29:04,429 Don't make me look you up on Instagram. 675 00:29:04,429 --> 00:29:06,511 I'm sure you posted plenty of selfies in these shoes. 676 00:29:08,761 --> 00:29:10,887 Please, sir, 677 00:29:10,887 --> 00:29:14,345 I'm a single mother struggling to make ends meet. 678 00:29:14,345 --> 00:29:17,887 I just wanted something nice for once in my life. 679 00:29:17,887 --> 00:29:20,137 I promise you, I will never do this again, 680 00:29:20,137 --> 00:29:22,429 but these shoes are 800 bucks. 681 00:29:22,429 --> 00:29:24,095 I can't afford that. 682 00:29:25,304 --> 00:29:28,053 Suppose I could make an exception. 683 00:29:28,053 --> 00:29:30,345 - Thank you. - Under one condition. 684 00:29:30,345 --> 00:29:33,137 - Anything. - You blow me after my shift. 685 00:29:33,137 --> 00:29:36,095 Why does everything have to come down to sex? 686 00:29:36,095 --> 00:29:38,179 'Cause sex is awesome. 687 00:29:38,179 --> 00:29:40,720 No. You just wanna feel like you have power over me. 688 00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:42,803 That's awesome too. 689 00:29:42,803 --> 00:29:46,220 Can't I just, like, wash your car 690 00:29:46,220 --> 00:29:48,678 or something? 691 00:29:48,678 --> 00:29:50,304 Mm... 692 00:29:50,304 --> 00:29:53,387 not as satisfying. 693 00:29:53,387 --> 00:29:55,429 So it's all about degrading me, then. 694 00:29:56,761 --> 00:29:59,678 I...guess. 695 00:29:59,678 --> 00:30:02,928 Yes, it-it probably is. 696 00:30:07,928 --> 00:30:09,845 Okay. 697 00:30:09,845 --> 00:30:12,470 How 'bout... 698 00:30:12,470 --> 00:30:15,053 how 'bout I give you a blow job? 699 00:30:15,053 --> 00:30:16,345 You just said it was degrading. 700 00:30:16,345 --> 00:30:18,970 It is, when you ask for it. 701 00:30:18,970 --> 00:30:20,845 It's different if you do? 702 00:30:20,845 --> 00:30:23,636 Yeah. 'Cause then it's my choice. 703 00:30:23,636 --> 00:30:26,387 It's my decision. And I have the power. 704 00:30:26,387 --> 00:30:28,970 Okay. 705 00:30:28,970 --> 00:30:30,595 Then sure. 706 00:30:30,595 --> 00:30:32,137 I'd love a blow job. 707 00:30:32,137 --> 00:30:34,511 - Deal. - I get off in two hours. 708 00:30:37,595 --> 00:30:39,429 See you in two hours. 709 00:30:39,429 --> 00:30:41,179 Have a good day! 710 00:30:41,179 --> 00:30:43,262 Shh. 711 00:30:43,262 --> 00:30:47,429 Whoa! Oh, you sound like your Grandpa Frank. 712 00:30:47,429 --> 00:30:50,095 Yes, you do. 713 00:30:50,095 --> 00:30:52,220 Let's see what's going on in that diaper, huh? 714 00:30:52,220 --> 00:30:55,220 'Cause that's... a little smelly. 715 00:30:55,220 --> 00:30:58,304 Pee-yew! 716 00:30:58,304 --> 00:30:59,553 I got you. I got you. 717 00:30:59,553 --> 00:31:01,220 I got you. 718 00:31:01,220 --> 00:31:03,803 ♪ It's all right, it's all ♪ 719 00:31:03,803 --> 00:31:05,470 Whoa! 720 00:31:05,470 --> 00:31:08,470 How'd that much poop come outta you, huh? 721 00:31:08,470 --> 00:31:11,636 One sec, all right? One sec. 722 00:31:11,636 --> 00:31:14,137 Okay, here we go. 723 00:31:14,137 --> 00:31:16,345 Here we go. 724 00:31:16,345 --> 00:31:18,262 Ooh, that's black. 725 00:31:18,262 --> 00:31:19,845 Yeah, they said that'd be black. 726 00:31:19,845 --> 00:31:22,012 I'm really just smushing it around, aren't I? 727 00:31:22,012 --> 00:31:23,928 Uh... 728 00:31:23,928 --> 00:31:26,678 hey, I got an idea, all right? 729 00:31:34,304 --> 00:31:36,095 I got you. 730 00:31:36,095 --> 00:31:38,262 Ready? 731 00:31:38,262 --> 00:31:39,887 Here we go. 732 00:31:41,845 --> 00:31:44,720 That's good. Okay. 733 00:31:45,678 --> 00:31:46,761 Okay. 734 00:31:48,095 --> 00:31:49,429 Yeah? 735 00:31:49,429 --> 00:31:50,928 Hey. 736 00:31:50,928 --> 00:31:52,970 Good as new. 737 00:31:52,970 --> 00:31:55,387 All right? 738 00:31:55,387 --> 00:31:57,262 Let's get a new diaper on you 739 00:31:57,262 --> 00:31:59,262 and then we can have our nap, okay? 740 00:31:59,262 --> 00:32:02,262 I'm just gonna find a new diaper. 741 00:32:05,887 --> 00:32:08,137 Hospital only gave us one diaper. 742 00:32:08,137 --> 00:32:12,636 Buddy, what are we gonna do? 743 00:32:14,304 --> 00:32:17,053 I know. 744 00:32:19,387 --> 00:32:21,345 Here goes another one! 745 00:32:21,345 --> 00:32:24,137 Open it! Open it! 746 00:32:24,137 --> 00:32:26,179 Open it! Open it! 747 00:32:26,179 --> 00:32:28,470 I bet it's another one of those essential oil diffusers. 748 00:32:28,470 --> 00:32:31,761 It's crazy how many people ordered that piece of crap. 749 00:32:31,761 --> 00:32:34,928 Hey, I'm excited to use my piece of crap when I get home. 750 00:32:34,928 --> 00:32:37,262 Another Vitamix! 751 00:32:37,262 --> 00:32:38,636 Yes! 752 00:32:38,636 --> 00:32:40,595 - Let's take it, V. - We already have one, Kev. 753 00:32:40,595 --> 00:32:42,595 Oh, right. All right, who wants it? 754 00:32:42,595 --> 00:32:44,928 - Oh, me! - Me, me, me, me! 755 00:32:44,928 --> 00:32:46,304 Here you go, Kermit. 756 00:32:46,304 --> 00:32:47,470 You haven't had anything in a while. 757 00:32:47,470 --> 00:32:49,553 - Thank you, Kev. - You're welcome, buddy. 758 00:32:49,553 --> 00:32:50,803 All right, V. 759 00:32:50,803 --> 00:32:52,553 - Bring the next box out. - Yeah! 760 00:32:52,553 --> 00:32:56,304 - Come on, now! - Come on. 761 00:32:56,304 --> 00:32:58,470 - There's nothin' left. - What? 762 00:32:58,470 --> 00:33:00,720 Don't be greedy. 763 00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:02,595 You just got a bunch of free stuff. 764 00:33:03,553 --> 00:33:05,012 What about the returns? 765 00:33:06,220 --> 00:33:07,970 - The what? - Yeah. 766 00:33:07,970 --> 00:33:10,470 OBS guys have to drive around picking up packages. 767 00:33:11,761 --> 00:33:13,345 That's right. 768 00:33:13,345 --> 00:33:15,595 There must be tons of stuff out there! 769 00:33:15,595 --> 00:33:17,845 Yeah, well, we're not giving it away for free this time. 770 00:33:17,845 --> 00:33:19,345 - We're not? - No! We're gonna 771 00:33:19,345 --> 00:33:21,137 auction that off, make some money off these ingrates. 772 00:33:21,137 --> 00:33:22,803 Go get that scanner thing from the dead guy, Kev, 773 00:33:22,803 --> 00:33:24,845 - and pick up the packages. - Can I drive the van? 774 00:33:24,845 --> 00:33:26,179 Knock yourself out. 775 00:33:26,179 --> 00:33:28,179 I'm gonna take this bassinet over to Lip. 776 00:33:28,179 --> 00:33:30,429 How attached are you to that pool? 777 00:33:36,179 --> 00:33:37,720 How's it going? 778 00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:39,511 Good. Good. 779 00:33:41,012 --> 00:33:42,511 Well, shit. 780 00:33:42,511 --> 00:33:44,720 Ah, don't let the collar scare you. 781 00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:47,345 Just trying to make extra money for the CYO basketball team. 782 00:33:47,345 --> 00:33:49,511 Not here to take you to heaven...yet. 783 00:33:49,511 --> 00:33:51,970 Or worse, the downstairs place. 784 00:33:53,595 --> 00:33:55,553 - Abort mission! - What? 785 00:33:55,553 --> 00:33:56,761 It's a priest! 786 00:33:59,304 --> 00:34:01,179 Ooh! 787 00:34:01,179 --> 00:34:01,887 Heavens to Betsy. 788 00:34:05,262 --> 00:34:06,345 Are you okay? 789 00:34:06,345 --> 00:34:09,304 My leg. My leg is broken. 790 00:34:09,304 --> 00:34:10,887 Oh, my Go-- Oh, uh, uh... 791 00:34:10,887 --> 00:34:12,387 a priest, a priest. 792 00:34:12,387 --> 00:34:14,429 That's what I was trying to tell you. 793 00:34:14,429 --> 00:34:16,220 Oh. 794 00:34:17,636 --> 00:34:19,470 Wait. What's going on here? 795 00:34:19,470 --> 00:34:20,928 Uh...we're good, Padre. 796 00:34:20,928 --> 00:34:22,595 Praise Jesus. 797 00:34:22,595 --> 00:34:24,470 I've been healed! 798 00:34:24,470 --> 00:34:26,095 Were you two trying to scam me? 799 00:34:26,095 --> 00:34:27,553 Nah, it's just a misunderstanding. 800 00:34:27,553 --> 00:34:28,595 We'll be on our way. 801 00:34:30,429 --> 00:34:32,845 If you're in need of money for a meal, I can help. 802 00:34:33,595 --> 00:34:35,429 - Come again? - The Lord, of course, 803 00:34:35,429 --> 00:34:38,012 wants you to promise you won't use it on drugs. 804 00:34:39,761 --> 00:34:42,511 That would be a sin. 805 00:34:42,511 --> 00:34:44,095 - Thank you, Padre. - Let's get outta here 806 00:34:44,095 --> 00:34:46,429 - before he changes his mind. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 807 00:34:46,429 --> 00:34:47,970 Okay, okay. 808 00:34:47,970 --> 00:34:50,012 Booze or coke or a little of both, Frank? 809 00:34:50,012 --> 00:34:51,845 What do you say? What do you say? 810 00:34:54,095 --> 00:34:56,053 What happened? 811 00:34:56,053 --> 00:34:58,262 Why ain't you happy? 812 00:34:58,262 --> 00:34:59,553 We got ten dollars. 813 00:34:59,553 --> 00:35:02,803 Ten dollars is not gonna solve our problem. 814 00:35:02,803 --> 00:35:04,304 She's gonna kick us out. 815 00:35:04,304 --> 00:35:06,220 We gotta find a place to sleep. 816 00:35:06,220 --> 00:35:07,970 It pisses me off. 817 00:35:07,970 --> 00:35:09,845 I got an inheritance waiting for me, 818 00:35:09,845 --> 00:35:12,304 and Debbie's holding it hostage. 819 00:35:12,304 --> 00:35:13,470 - ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh... ♪ - Why'd you do that? 820 00:35:13,470 --> 00:35:15,470 You know what your problem is? 821 00:35:15,470 --> 00:35:17,720 You let women run your life: 822 00:35:17,720 --> 00:35:19,803 your daughters, your dead wife, 823 00:35:19,803 --> 00:35:21,429 your mother too, I bet. 824 00:35:21,429 --> 00:35:23,470 It's true. 825 00:35:23,470 --> 00:35:24,803 She made me pee sitting down. 826 00:35:24,803 --> 00:35:27,636 Said I splashed on her magazines. 827 00:35:27,636 --> 00:35:30,387 Those female types have pussy-whipped 828 00:35:30,387 --> 00:35:34,137 the masculinity from your soul. 829 00:35:34,137 --> 00:35:36,220 They have. 830 00:35:36,220 --> 00:35:38,636 You know, because of men like you, 831 00:35:38,636 --> 00:35:42,470 women like Debbie feel entitled and empowered. 832 00:35:42,470 --> 00:35:43,803 They do. 833 00:35:43,803 --> 00:35:46,262 You need to break the cycle, Frank! 834 00:35:46,262 --> 00:35:48,511 Press the reset button. 835 00:35:48,511 --> 00:35:50,928 You need to reclaim your patriarchy. 836 00:35:53,012 --> 00:35:54,845 Let's go back to the house, 837 00:35:54,845 --> 00:35:58,304 storm that castle, and take back what's yours. 838 00:35:58,304 --> 00:36:00,511 - Yes! - Yes! 839 00:36:00,511 --> 00:36:02,387 ♪ Got a taste of the gold ♪ 840 00:36:02,387 --> 00:36:03,720 ♪ Now that I got it, I need a little bit more... ♪ 841 00:36:03,720 --> 00:36:04,970 You're hurting me. 842 00:36:04,970 --> 00:36:06,928 - Whoa, whoa. - Come on! 843 00:36:11,887 --> 00:36:13,678 ♪ I'm a black man in a white world ♪ 844 00:36:13,678 --> 00:36:15,928 ♪ I'm a black man in a white world ♪ 845 00:36:15,928 --> 00:36:18,387 ♪ I'm a black man in a white world ♪ 846 00:36:18,387 --> 00:36:20,720 ♪ I'm a black man in a white world ♪ 847 00:36:20,720 --> 00:36:22,387 - ♪ I'm a black man ♪ - ♪ Yeah, come on, y'all ♪ 848 00:36:22,387 --> 00:36:23,678 - ♪ In a white world ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 849 00:36:23,678 --> 00:36:25,304 ♪ I'm a black man in a white world ♪ 850 00:36:26,220 --> 00:36:29,262 All right. 851 00:36:29,262 --> 00:36:31,345 All right. 852 00:36:31,345 --> 00:36:33,220 Shh, shh, shh, shh. 853 00:36:33,220 --> 00:36:35,387 It's all right, buddy, okay? 854 00:36:35,387 --> 00:36:37,636 It's all right. 855 00:36:37,636 --> 00:36:40,053 It's all right. You can stop crying, all right? 856 00:36:40,053 --> 00:36:42,345 Here we go. 857 00:36:42,345 --> 00:36:45,262 Here we go. Here we go. 858 00:36:45,262 --> 00:36:47,553 Hey, there you go, okay? 859 00:36:47,553 --> 00:36:50,387 I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick, okay, okay? 860 00:36:50,387 --> 00:36:52,179 Then I'm gonna come right back. 861 00:36:52,179 --> 00:36:53,636 We'll take a nap together, all right? 862 00:36:53,636 --> 00:36:55,887 All right, shh, shh. 863 00:36:55,887 --> 00:36:57,304 Stay right there, okay? 864 00:36:57,304 --> 00:36:58,803 Stay right there. Stay right there. 865 00:36:58,803 --> 00:37:00,304 Okay. 866 00:37:03,387 --> 00:37:05,928 All right, I'm going to the bathroom now, okay? 867 00:37:13,220 --> 00:37:15,928 I don't know how people go to the bathroom with babies. 868 00:37:18,803 --> 00:37:22,095 I don't know how people do much of anything with babies. 869 00:37:25,636 --> 00:37:27,970 I don't think I'm gonna be able to... 870 00:37:29,928 --> 00:37:32,470 ...take a shower till your mom gets outta the hospital, 871 00:37:32,470 --> 00:37:35,095 you know? 872 00:37:41,095 --> 00:37:42,387 Shit. 873 00:37:47,470 --> 00:37:50,179 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 874 00:37:50,179 --> 00:37:52,220 Where'd you go? 875 00:37:52,220 --> 00:37:53,470 Where'd you...go? 876 00:37:53,470 --> 00:37:55,470 How...does this even happen? 877 00:37:55,470 --> 00:37:57,137 You were right...here. 878 00:37:57,137 --> 00:37:59,511 You were right here. 879 00:37:59,511 --> 00:38:01,053 Are you serious? I lost my baby? 880 00:38:01,053 --> 00:38:02,803 Fuck. Freddie? 881 00:38:02,803 --> 00:38:06,345 Maybe he ran away because you named him Freddie. 882 00:38:06,345 --> 00:38:07,720 Hey. 883 00:38:07,720 --> 00:38:09,636 Hey. 884 00:38:09,636 --> 00:38:12,636 And he has on a sanitary pad with wings? 885 00:38:12,636 --> 00:38:14,636 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I ran outta diapers. 886 00:38:14,636 --> 00:38:16,636 You can't leave a baby alone like that. 887 00:38:16,636 --> 00:38:18,970 - I fell asleep. - You can't fall asleep. 888 00:38:18,970 --> 00:38:20,304 Hey, it was two seconds. 889 00:38:20,304 --> 00:38:22,053 Something could have fell on him. 890 00:38:22,053 --> 00:38:23,470 Someone could have stepped on him. 891 00:38:23,470 --> 00:38:24,887 Yeah, well, there's no one else here, so... 892 00:38:27,595 --> 00:38:30,845 When's Tami gettin' out? 893 00:38:30,845 --> 00:38:34,179 She's still in ICU. I-I don't know. 894 00:38:37,636 --> 00:38:39,970 I brought you a baby gift. 895 00:38:39,970 --> 00:38:43,429 It's a bassinet, but you need to assemble it. 896 00:38:47,179 --> 00:38:50,387 V...I'm tired, you know? 897 00:38:50,387 --> 00:38:52,928 Welcome to parenthood. 898 00:38:52,928 --> 00:38:54,179 You're only supposed to wear 899 00:38:54,179 --> 00:38:56,678 one of those nicotine patches at a time. 900 00:39:02,304 --> 00:39:04,179 So...here we are. 901 00:39:04,179 --> 00:39:06,387 Yup. 902 00:39:06,387 --> 00:39:08,511 Do you do this with a lot of women at the store? 903 00:39:08,511 --> 00:39:10,803 I get a fair amount of play. 904 00:39:10,803 --> 00:39:12,887 Really? 905 00:39:12,887 --> 00:39:15,429 Why do you say it like that? 906 00:39:15,429 --> 00:39:17,012 Shoe salesman? 907 00:39:17,012 --> 00:39:18,678 I'm actually a violinist. 908 00:39:18,678 --> 00:39:21,304 Oh! Yeah? 909 00:39:21,304 --> 00:39:22,720 Classically trained. 910 00:39:22,720 --> 00:39:24,220 Studied at Berkeley School of Music. 911 00:39:24,220 --> 00:39:26,553 Oh...that's cool. 912 00:39:26,553 --> 00:39:28,387 I bet you're pretty good. 913 00:39:28,387 --> 00:39:30,511 Bring my violin to work with me every day, 914 00:39:30,511 --> 00:39:33,720 thinking I'll... play it at lunch. 915 00:39:33,720 --> 00:39:35,636 Instead I go to Wetzel's Pretzel. 916 00:39:35,636 --> 00:39:37,720 I'm sure lots of famous musicians 917 00:39:37,720 --> 00:39:38,887 hang out at the food court. 918 00:39:40,429 --> 00:39:41,928 You ready? 919 00:39:41,928 --> 00:39:43,511 Wait. 920 00:39:43,511 --> 00:39:46,053 You think I like looking at feet all day? 921 00:39:46,053 --> 00:39:48,636 Isn't that your job? 922 00:39:48,636 --> 00:39:51,887 I hate it. I hate myself. 923 00:39:51,887 --> 00:39:54,803 That's why I try to get women to blow me. 924 00:39:54,803 --> 00:39:56,678 Does it make you feel any better about yourself? 925 00:39:56,678 --> 00:39:57,928 For a few minutes. 926 00:39:59,845 --> 00:40:02,095 Until the self-loathing comes back. 927 00:40:02,095 --> 00:40:04,095 - Shall we do this? - No, don't. 928 00:40:06,511 --> 00:40:08,179 I don't want... 929 00:40:08,179 --> 00:40:10,678 blow jobs from random women anymore. 930 00:40:10,678 --> 00:40:11,928 No? 931 00:40:14,678 --> 00:40:16,887 I'm gonna give my notice. 932 00:40:16,887 --> 00:40:18,262 - What about my shoes? - Keep 'em. 933 00:40:18,262 --> 00:40:19,511 - Seriously? - Yeah. 934 00:40:21,053 --> 00:40:23,053 I'm going back to the violin. 935 00:40:27,511 --> 00:40:30,470 Hey. What's goin' on? 936 00:40:30,470 --> 00:40:33,887 Why am I different from everyone in my family? 937 00:40:33,887 --> 00:40:37,220 It's like, if I was adopted, I would understand. 938 00:40:37,220 --> 00:40:38,678 but it's like I spun the roulette wheel 939 00:40:38,678 --> 00:40:40,053 and landed on black. 940 00:40:40,053 --> 00:40:43,928 Because once upon a time, a slave owner raped a slave. 941 00:40:43,928 --> 00:40:46,012 But now I'm being raised by a bunch of crackers, 942 00:40:46,012 --> 00:40:48,137 and they won't even give me the talk. 943 00:40:48,137 --> 00:40:49,845 You don't know about the birds and the bees yet? 944 00:40:49,845 --> 00:40:52,304 Yeah. I've known since I was six. 945 00:40:52,304 --> 00:40:55,220 The talk of how to survive as a black man in America. 946 00:40:58,345 --> 00:40:59,970 Yo, yo, yo. 947 00:40:59,970 --> 00:41:01,928 That's a lotta returns. 948 00:41:01,928 --> 00:41:03,429 Yeah, this scanner machine thingy 949 00:41:03,429 --> 00:41:05,179 is fun as shit. 950 00:41:12,970 --> 00:41:15,053 Can I help you? 951 00:41:28,137 --> 00:41:30,511 - Bye, Lori. - See ya tomorrow. 952 00:41:30,511 --> 00:41:33,761 Unless I see you tonight when you sneak into my apartment, 953 00:41:33,761 --> 00:41:35,845 'cause you know I leave my key under my mat. 954 00:41:35,845 --> 00:41:37,304 Isn't that sexual harassment? 955 00:41:37,304 --> 00:41:39,053 It doesn't count when you're a dude. 956 00:41:39,053 --> 00:41:40,012 Oh. 957 00:41:44,636 --> 00:41:45,678 So what's your deal? 958 00:41:47,262 --> 00:41:48,678 Meaning? 959 00:41:48,678 --> 00:41:51,012 - Well, you look like a chola. - Excuse me? 960 00:41:51,012 --> 00:41:52,887 And there's been a whole lot of little Mexican kids 961 00:41:52,887 --> 00:41:54,387 coming in here to get takeout food today. 962 00:41:54,387 --> 00:41:56,095 You're making this a race thing. 963 00:41:56,095 --> 00:41:57,262 No. I'm just wondering if you're running 964 00:41:57,262 --> 00:41:59,803 some type of game up in here. 965 00:41:59,803 --> 00:42:01,553 The only game I'm running 966 00:42:01,553 --> 00:42:03,553 is expanding the Captain Bob shrimp business 967 00:42:03,553 --> 00:42:05,553 to the Hispanic community. 968 00:42:14,429 --> 00:42:16,053 Tartar sauce. 969 00:42:19,803 --> 00:42:22,429 Vape? Damn, girl. 970 00:42:24,387 --> 00:42:26,053 I am man! 971 00:42:26,053 --> 00:42:28,429 Hear me roar! 972 00:42:28,429 --> 00:42:29,470 Rahh! 973 00:42:30,636 --> 00:42:32,553 Oh, shit. 974 00:42:33,761 --> 00:42:35,720 They're takin' my couch! 975 00:42:35,720 --> 00:42:38,304 Hey, leave that right there! 976 00:42:38,304 --> 00:42:40,262 That's my couch! 977 00:42:40,262 --> 00:42:42,262 Perfect. Couch is perfect right there. 978 00:42:42,262 --> 00:42:44,595 We do not need this couch. 979 00:42:44,595 --> 00:42:47,053 Now, take it back right now. 980 00:42:47,053 --> 00:42:48,928 Sorry, man. We just deliver shit. 981 00:42:48,928 --> 00:42:51,012 Ah, so comfy. 982 00:42:51,012 --> 00:42:53,053 And look, no fecal stains. 983 00:42:53,053 --> 00:42:54,803 That's my money you're sittin' on. 984 00:42:54,803 --> 00:42:57,429 We needed a new couch, Frank. So I took care of it. 985 00:42:57,429 --> 00:42:59,553 How 'bout you thank me instead of bitching at me? 986 00:43:00,845 --> 00:43:02,636 - $600? - Wait, what? 987 00:43:02,636 --> 00:43:04,095 - What? - Nice things cost. 988 00:43:04,095 --> 00:43:05,429 Yeah, but it's our money too. 989 00:43:05,429 --> 00:43:07,678 Yeah, we should have a say in what we buy. 990 00:43:07,678 --> 00:43:08,803 Yeah, I mean, it'd be nice 991 00:43:08,803 --> 00:43:09,928 to have some cash to buy diapers 992 00:43:09,928 --> 00:43:11,887 instead of using your sanitary pads. 993 00:43:11,887 --> 00:43:15,595 I, for one, am tired of being repressed and controlled 994 00:43:15,595 --> 00:43:17,720 by the women in this family. 995 00:43:17,720 --> 00:43:19,179 Are you with me, gentlemen? 996 00:43:19,179 --> 00:43:20,720 It might just be the sleep deprivation, 997 00:43:20,720 --> 00:43:22,803 but I kind of agree with Frank. 998 00:43:22,803 --> 00:43:24,429 You know, me too. Debbie and Fiona 999 00:43:24,429 --> 00:43:25,845 have been bitching at us our whole lives. 1000 00:43:25,845 --> 00:43:27,636 Look what you've done. 1001 00:43:27,636 --> 00:43:29,012 Are you proud of yourself? 1002 00:43:29,012 --> 00:43:30,928 No one wants you to be in charge. 1003 00:43:30,928 --> 00:43:33,012 We didn't elect you. 1004 00:43:33,012 --> 00:43:35,970 We're on best behavior for this little infant boy 1005 00:43:35,970 --> 00:43:39,137 who still stands a chance of feeling like a man someday. 1006 00:43:39,137 --> 00:43:41,262 Oh, fuck you guys. I don't need this shit. 1007 00:43:41,262 --> 00:43:44,387 Fiona left me the money. You don't like it, leave. 1008 00:43:44,387 --> 00:43:47,470 Just like a bully to say something like that. 1009 00:43:50,470 --> 00:43:52,761 Who wants a beer and chicken? 1010 00:43:54,137 --> 00:43:55,803 Ah, dude, your kid smells like an ashtray. 1011 00:44:26,095 --> 00:44:29,179 - Dude, I'm stabbing him. - Not if I get there first. 1012 00:44:29,179 --> 00:44:30,803 I have the shiv. 1013 00:44:30,803 --> 00:44:33,012 Enzo slipped me his through the vent, bitch. 1014 00:44:37,970 --> 00:44:39,636 Oh! Shit! 1015 00:44:39,636 --> 00:44:41,511 Christ on a cross! 1016 00:44:41,511 --> 00:44:43,012 Ohh! 1017 00:44:43,012 --> 00:44:45,511 The arm? Weak. 1018 00:44:45,511 --> 00:44:46,928 - Oh! - Chester, it's Ian. 1019 00:44:46,928 --> 00:44:48,636 You get to stay. I stabbed you. 1020 00:44:48,636 --> 00:44:49,845 No, no, no. 1021 00:44:49,845 --> 00:44:51,304 Jesus Christ! 1022 00:44:51,304 --> 00:44:53,012 Mick, you're gonna fucking kill him! 1023 00:44:53,012 --> 00:44:54,761 What are you two morons doing? 1024 00:44:54,761 --> 00:44:57,220 Hey, I stabbed Chester. Send me to solitary, okay? 1025 00:44:57,220 --> 00:44:58,720 No, no, no. He's taking the fall for me. 1026 00:44:58,720 --> 00:45:00,345 Thank you. I-I stabbed this piece of shit. 1027 00:45:00,345 --> 00:45:02,095 - No, I fuckin' stabbed in. - Jesus, Chester. 1028 00:45:02,095 --> 00:45:04,012 You got two of them to do it this time? 1029 00:45:04,012 --> 00:45:05,262 This time? 1030 00:45:05,262 --> 00:45:07,220 He does this every couple months. 1031 00:45:07,220 --> 00:45:08,970 Makes a deal with an inmate to stab him 1032 00:45:08,970 --> 00:45:10,887 so he can postpone his release. 1033 00:45:13,262 --> 00:45:15,220 You two idiots are comin' with me. Go. 1034 00:45:15,220 --> 00:45:17,220 - Y-- - Hey, I'm bleedin' out 1035 00:45:17,220 --> 00:45:18,887 - over here. - Calm down, Chester. 1036 00:45:18,887 --> 00:45:20,803 I'll call the medic. 1037 00:45:47,137 --> 00:45:50,511 What are you up to... Deb-or-ah? 1038 00:45:58,928 --> 00:46:02,429 Your mommy's gonna love you so much, you know? 1039 00:46:02,429 --> 00:46:05,262 She is. Maybe not as much as me, but... 1040 00:46:05,262 --> 00:46:07,678 it's gonna be pretty close. 1041 00:46:07,678 --> 00:46:11,470 She's gonna gobble up those teeny-tiny hands. 1042 00:46:11,470 --> 00:46:13,345 Yeah. 1043 00:46:13,345 --> 00:46:17,137 And those teeny-tiny ears too. Huh? I'm sorry. 1044 00:46:17,137 --> 00:46:19,887 And then you know what she's gonna do? 1045 00:46:21,803 --> 00:46:24,553 One, two, three, 1046 00:46:24,553 --> 00:46:26,387 four, five. 1047 00:46:26,387 --> 00:46:29,137 Oh, shit, dude. 1048 00:46:33,345 --> 00:46:35,137 Okay, here we go. Here we go. 1049 00:46:35,137 --> 00:46:37,053 I got you, bud. I got you. 1050 00:46:37,053 --> 00:46:39,220 I got you. I got you. 1051 00:46:44,095 --> 00:46:45,429 Everything okay in there? 1052 00:46:46,511 --> 00:46:48,720 I almost dropped him. 1053 00:46:48,720 --> 00:46:50,511 Ah. 1054 00:46:50,511 --> 00:46:51,970 Don't worry if you do. 1055 00:46:51,970 --> 00:46:54,179 They're made of Jell-O the first few months. 1056 00:46:57,179 --> 00:47:00,345 He'll be fine. You won't hurt him. 1057 00:47:03,636 --> 00:47:05,262 Get some sleep, son. 1058 00:47:07,553 --> 00:47:09,345 You look tired. 1059 00:47:32,095 --> 00:47:35,012 Well, well. 1060 00:47:35,012 --> 00:47:36,761 What do we have here? 1061 00:47:36,761 --> 00:47:38,429 Mikey? 1062 00:47:38,429 --> 00:47:40,678 I'm not Mikey. 1063 00:47:40,678 --> 00:47:42,845 Jesus, did you follow me here? 1064 00:47:42,845 --> 00:47:44,845 I'm a dangerous man 1065 00:47:44,845 --> 00:47:47,845 with a scary knife. 1066 00:47:47,845 --> 00:47:50,012 And...and... 1067 00:47:50,012 --> 00:47:52,470 I can't breathe in this thing. 1068 00:47:52,470 --> 00:47:54,470 A little help here, please. 1069 00:47:54,470 --> 00:47:57,470 - Ooh! - What the hell do you want? 1070 00:48:00,053 --> 00:48:01,304 Huh. 1071 00:48:12,803 --> 00:48:14,845 You steal all this stuff? 1072 00:48:15,970 --> 00:48:17,678 None of your business. 1073 00:48:18,761 --> 00:48:20,220 "Purchase date." 1074 00:48:22,761 --> 00:48:24,429 "Return by date." 1075 00:48:25,678 --> 00:48:27,887 So you're buying this shit, 1076 00:48:27,887 --> 00:48:29,553 using it, 1077 00:48:29,553 --> 00:48:31,553 and returning it, aren't you? 1078 00:48:33,095 --> 00:48:34,803 Get out of my she-shed. 1079 00:48:34,803 --> 00:48:36,761 Oh, I will. 1080 00:48:36,761 --> 00:48:40,511 I will, as soon as you answer this one question for me. 1081 00:48:42,595 --> 00:48:45,053 Who's your daddy? 1082 00:48:45,053 --> 00:48:47,095 Why are men so pervy? 1083 00:48:47,095 --> 00:48:48,595 I am not blowing you! 1084 00:48:50,262 --> 00:48:52,470 Who said anything about blowing me? 1085 00:48:52,470 --> 00:48:54,470 You just asked, "Who's your daddy?" 1086 00:48:54,470 --> 00:48:57,345 I meant that in a real way, not a sexual way. 1087 00:48:57,345 --> 00:49:00,678 Frank is my best friend! You're practically my daughter. 1088 00:49:00,678 --> 00:49:04,137 Uh, yeah, no, I'm not. 1089 00:49:04,137 --> 00:49:06,387 Who's your daddy? 1090 00:49:06,387 --> 00:49:10,595 As in, you need to respect him. 1091 00:49:10,595 --> 00:49:12,595 Hell no. 1092 00:49:14,095 --> 00:49:16,220 Well, then... 1093 00:49:16,220 --> 00:49:18,012 you leave me no choice. 1094 00:49:18,012 --> 00:49:19,470 No! 1095 00:49:19,470 --> 00:49:21,761 Don't. 1096 00:49:21,761 --> 00:49:25,511 You get these back when Frank is head of the household 1097 00:49:25,511 --> 00:49:27,553 and in charge of the family money. 1098 00:49:27,553 --> 00:49:29,803 You don't think I can deck you right now? 1099 00:49:29,803 --> 00:49:32,137 You don't think I could eat these receipts right now? 1100 00:49:32,137 --> 00:49:33,720 Don't eat that! 1101 00:49:33,720 --> 00:49:35,845 You know what you have to do. 1102 00:49:38,845 --> 00:49:41,012 You got 24 hours. 1103 00:49:41,012 --> 00:49:43,095 Make things right. 1104 00:49:49,553 --> 00:49:51,179 Fuck! 1105 00:50:20,179 --> 00:50:22,053 Quit tomorrow, okay? 1106 00:50:59,595 --> 00:51:02,095 Sleep well, my prince, 1107 00:51:02,095 --> 00:51:03,887 for tomorrow... 1108 00:51:03,887 --> 00:51:05,553 you shall be king. 1109 00:51:06,928 --> 00:51:08,970 Yeah. 1110 00:51:18,012 --> 00:51:19,595 Wake up! 1111 00:51:19,595 --> 00:51:22,012 Get up, Gallaghers. 1112 00:51:22,012 --> 00:51:23,429 I just got Freddie back down. 1113 00:51:23,429 --> 00:51:24,887 You wake him, so help me, God. 1114 00:51:24,887 --> 00:51:26,553 Yeah, I know you're gonna throw out my breakfast 1115 00:51:26,553 --> 00:51:28,928 - if I'm not down in time. - What is it this time, Debs? 1116 00:51:28,928 --> 00:51:30,345 Cover your tits, everyone. 1117 00:51:30,345 --> 00:51:32,012 - She may have a knife. - Shh! 1118 00:51:32,012 --> 00:51:34,511 No knives. What I do have, however, 1119 00:51:34,511 --> 00:51:37,012 are ATM cards, one for the each of you. 1120 00:51:37,012 --> 00:51:38,720 What? 1121 00:51:38,720 --> 00:51:41,012 Hundred bucks on each, to be replaced weekly. 1122 00:51:41,012 --> 00:51:42,304 - Sweet. - 'Bout time. 1123 00:51:42,304 --> 00:51:43,970 Well, I really should get more on mine. 1124 00:51:43,970 --> 00:51:45,470 I realized that I've been holding power over all of you 1125 00:51:45,470 --> 00:51:47,928 because I feel shitty about myself. 1126 00:51:47,928 --> 00:51:49,636 Uh, you only pull wings off a fly 1127 00:51:49,636 --> 00:51:51,678 because you're dead inside, right? 1128 00:51:54,803 --> 00:51:57,262 So...one for you... 1129 00:51:57,262 --> 00:51:58,970 and you... 1130 00:51:58,970 --> 00:52:00,345 you. 1131 00:52:00,345 --> 00:52:01,970 Frank, 1132 00:52:01,970 --> 00:52:04,137 if you wanna take over as head of the household, 1133 00:52:04,137 --> 00:52:05,220 please do. 1134 00:52:05,220 --> 00:52:07,012 It's a shit job. 1135 00:52:11,970 --> 00:52:14,470 My receipts. 1136 00:52:28,678 --> 00:52:30,887 I can't believe that's what you wanted to buy 1137 00:52:30,887 --> 00:52:32,012 with your money. 1138 00:52:32,012 --> 00:52:33,511 Gotta start a business, son. 1139 00:52:33,511 --> 00:52:35,387 Can't get ahead on a fry cook's salary. 1140 00:52:35,387 --> 00:52:37,179 Plus, it's better than that shitty ancestry kit 1141 00:52:37,179 --> 00:52:38,761 you wanted to buy. 1142 00:52:38,761 --> 00:52:40,511 - Just wanna know who I am. - You're a Gallagher. 1143 00:52:40,511 --> 00:52:42,928 - Same as me. - I'm black. 1144 00:52:42,928 --> 00:52:44,220 Yeah, and you get to check the black card 1145 00:52:44,220 --> 00:52:45,429 for the rest of your life. 1146 00:52:45,429 --> 00:52:46,970 Move to the front of the line. You got it made. 1147 00:52:46,970 --> 00:52:49,012 Except I can't walk down the street wearing a hoodie 1148 00:52:49,012 --> 00:52:52,179 without worrying that a cop's gonna put me in a chokehold. 1149 00:52:52,179 --> 00:52:54,012 You can just pick up your order over there. 1150 00:52:56,012 --> 00:52:58,387 Hey, Anne, I got a proposition for you. 1151 00:52:58,387 --> 00:52:59,845 I know you're selling vape pens 1152 00:52:59,845 --> 00:53:01,803 to little Mexican kids. 1153 00:53:01,803 --> 00:53:03,887 - That is not what I'm d-- - Don't argue. 1154 00:53:03,887 --> 00:53:05,470 I already looked in your tartar sauce box. 1155 00:53:05,470 --> 00:53:07,012 - Is than a euphemism? - No. 1156 00:53:07,012 --> 00:53:09,137 And I wanna go into business with you. 1157 00:53:09,137 --> 00:53:11,803 Why would I do that? 1158 00:53:11,803 --> 00:53:13,720 Well, because you only have the Hispanic market, 1159 00:53:13,720 --> 00:53:15,345 and if you wanna expand your business, 1160 00:53:15,345 --> 00:53:17,220 you gotta tap into the underage white kids that I know 1161 00:53:17,220 --> 00:53:19,553 - and black kids... - That I know. 1162 00:53:19,553 --> 00:53:22,761 So you and I are partners now. We'll split profits 50-50. 1163 00:53:22,761 --> 00:53:23,887 Liam and I will go to the playground, 1164 00:53:23,887 --> 00:53:25,345 round up new buyers. 1165 00:53:25,345 --> 00:53:27,387 And here's your supplies. 1166 00:53:33,470 --> 00:53:35,179 Menthol? 1167 00:53:35,179 --> 00:53:36,887 Trust me, my customers will love it. 1168 00:53:48,511 --> 00:53:49,636 - I stabbed him first. - No, you did not. 1169 00:53:49,636 --> 00:53:51,053 - Oh, shut up. - You shut up. 1170 00:53:51,053 --> 00:53:52,179 Don't fuckin' tell me what to do. 1171 00:53:52,179 --> 00:53:53,470 If you shut your fuckin' pie hole, 1172 00:53:53,470 --> 00:53:54,595 I wouldn't have to tell you what to do. 1173 00:53:54,595 --> 00:53:55,928 Yeah, please, that'll be the day, 1174 00:53:55,928 --> 00:53:57,511 when Ian Gallagher doesn't nag the shit outta my ass 1175 00:53:57,511 --> 00:53:59,095 and tell me what to do about somethin'! 1176 00:53:59,095 --> 00:54:00,511 You know, if you just wiped the toilet seat 1177 00:54:00,511 --> 00:54:02,053 for once in your life, I wouldn't fuckin' nag you. 1178 00:54:02,053 --> 00:54:03,262 If you just, like, picked up your nail clippings-- 1179 00:54:03,262 --> 00:54:04,012 Who gives a shit about any of that? 1180 00:54:04,012 --> 00:54:05,179 We're in fuckin' prison! 1181 00:54:05,179 --> 00:54:06,928 - I do, you fuckin' pig. - That's the problem. 1182 00:54:06,928 --> 00:54:08,761 You sound like a couple of old broads. 1183 00:54:08,761 --> 00:54:10,595 I'ma murder you two if you don't stop talkin'. 1184 00:54:21,345 --> 00:54:23,053 Hi, Frank. 1185 00:54:23,970 --> 00:54:26,012 Give us a hand here, would you, kid? 1186 00:54:28,511 --> 00:54:30,761 Hey, Frank, do you know who banged a black person 1187 00:54:30,761 --> 00:54:32,470 in our family lineage? 1188 00:54:32,470 --> 00:54:35,720 Yeah, someone from your mother's grandfather's 1189 00:54:35,720 --> 00:54:38,470 side of the family had a mistress. 1190 00:54:38,470 --> 00:54:40,345 - And she was black? - She is black. 1191 00:54:40,345 --> 00:54:42,012 She's still alive? 1192 00:54:42,012 --> 00:54:43,720 Lives down the street. 1193 00:54:43,720 --> 00:54:45,053 What? 1194 00:54:52,636 --> 00:54:55,095 Why didn't you tell me? 1195 00:54:56,636 --> 00:54:57,761 Get away from the house, Frank. 1196 00:54:57,761 --> 00:54:59,095 You know the rules. 1197 00:55:02,387 --> 00:55:03,803 That's why, son. 1198 00:55:03,803 --> 00:55:04,887 ♪ Whoo ♪ 1199 00:55:17,928 --> 00:55:20,928 Oh, shit. Not again. 1200 00:55:31,012 --> 00:55:32,012 ♪ Whoo ♪